


teenage wasteland

by johnlisbon



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, brief ziam!!!, some couples from the past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-20
Updated: 2014-08-20
Packaged: 2018-02-13 22:23:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2167386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johnlisbon/pseuds/johnlisbon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>louis is seeking for freedom and harry is a perfectly normal boy who is just too in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	teenage wasteland

**Author's Note:**

> heyyy, this is my first fic and it's based on lana del rey's "prom song (gone wrong)", i'm sorry for the bad grammar (i'm brazilian so english is not my mother tongue haha) and innacuracies, i tried c:
> 
> so let's get on with it then!!
> 
> p.s.: unbeta'd so sorry

            “i had fun” louis said as they got down the street. harry was currently walking him home, with a soft touch, he put his hand over the shorter boy’s. “we should do that again sometime.”

            “oh yeah, definitely.” harry smiled and bowed down a little to give louis a slow, gentle and sweet kiss on the left cheek.  “i’ll text you when i get home.” they parted. harry watched as louis walked into his house and turned to face the green eyed boy with a genuine smile. he waved and entered the small white house.

            it took harry fifteen minutes to get to his house, which was located in the opposite direction of louis’, but he didn’t care, as long as he got to see him for a little longer, he was good. he stripped and climbed into his bed , thinking he would most definitely ask him to prom next month.

 

 

            it was monday morning and louis and harry hadn’t stopped texting during the weekend, they even called each other sometimes just to hear the other one laughing. it was cute, nothing like louis was accustomed to in his one night stands, and since it was harry’s first proper date with somebody (he did not count his play dates with laura anderson when they were six years old), he didn’t know what he was doing and louis found that strangely cute. 

            harry was expecting louis by his locker with a smile and sleepy eyes. he opened his locker and got his european history book.

            “good morning ‘arry.” louis smiled.

            “morning lou.” harry said and with that they turned to class. it was simple, but they were simple, they didn’t want to complicate their relationship yet. harry didn’t care about what people were saying about them, that louis was just using him and that harry deserved better because he was such a sweet and smart boy. he didn’t care about louis reputation, people said that he was slutty and had smoked so many spliffs that his lungs were now in a different color.

            harry had asked louis out last week (with a baby blue card written in silver pen “trust me, if I had stopped thinking about your eyes for a minute, i could have written something better, but i didn’t, so i’ll just stick with the plain ‘  go out with me on friday please?’” and a rose) but it felt like they were doing this for a long time. they were just so comfortable around each other. harry didn’t even had to write him a card and buy that rose to get louis to go out with him because the blue eyed boy found harry’s dorkish way so cute and would have went on a date with him even if he asked him with a bag of cat poop.

           

 

            it was wednesday  when they shared their first kiss, the school day had already ended for a while now and they were at the park watching the autumn leaves fall down and tint the ground with their orange, yellow and green.

            “how come you never heard a nirvana song?” harry asked with a fake outraged expression. “they are simply the best!” and harry was kind of an 90’s music enthusiastic, he couldn’t help it, the songs from that time seemed to be overly appealing to the boy. his eclectic music taste ranged from the offspring, nirvana and the cranberries to britney spears and madonna and even got to east coast rappers and billy ray cyrus.

            “it’s just that i don’t  quite like old music, no offense sweetie.” louis laughed lightly.

            “oh my god, you, sir, need to have a musical education 101 with me. “ harry laughed and swayed his left arm to louis’ hips. now they were so close, face to face and chest to chest. louis got on the tip of his toes and pecked harry’          s lips. it was soft and sweet but it quickly turned into a hungry and hot kiss, their tongues dancing around, louis fisted harry’s curls and put an arm in harry’s wais while harry was now fully groping louis’ arse.

            they parted for air and smiled into each other’s eyes. “my my, mr. styles, didn’t quite guessed you liked being in the dirty side of the fence.”

 

 

            their dates happened three times a week, on wednesdays, they would go out and have a little after class adventure in town, sometimes they just walked streets with nowhere to go, harry quickly learned that this was one of louis’ favorite activities because of the freedom he was granted with, on fridays, they would go on a proper date, it didn’t have to be in a fancy place, no, they didn’t need that, they could go to a pizzaria or to a diner and have a greasy meal, then harry would walk louis home and louis would ask him to come in, and this generally led to a hot make out sesh, on saturdays, they usually hung around harry’s place, since harry didn’t have a thousand of siblings like louis, his only sister, gemma, has had gone off to london to pursue a business career and his mom was almost never around because she liked going out with her friends or with her boyfriend, so they watched a movie curled up together on the couch and then went upstairs to harry’s room to have another hot and long make out session.

            the only thing they hadn’t done was sex, sure harry got his first blowjob of his life and even gave louis a bj that louis swore it was the best of his life, although harry knew it was not true, he tried. they tried, actually, they tried a lot of times, in the school’s bathroom, in mc donald’s bathroom, at harry’s place, at louis’ place with his siblings downstairs,  even at a crowded cinema where harry insisted louis not to but louis did it anyway and made sure harry enjoyed himself during it.

            it was thursay night and louis was at harry’s place, the curled haired boy was trying to get louis to understand the reasons that caused the first world war to explode but the caramel haired lad just shrugged everything off and proceeded to stare at harry’s bicep and shoulder, large and strong because of all the swimming he had to do as the best swimmer in the school’s swim team.

            “so, the web of alliances caused all of those countries to break into war and louis are you even listening to me?” harry stopped and looked right into those cerulean blue eyes that had his legs like jelly all the time, louis was just so beautiful and no. harry couldn’t let him fail european history, he was determined to not get distracted by louis’ eyes or bum anymore and be a strict tutor.

            “i’m sorry haz, you’re doing great, i’m sure, but that’s just not for me, i don’t see why do we have to learn all these stupid things that happened long ago.” louis tried to explain himself, he was almost failing this class and yet he couldn’t bring himself to care about a single thing he learned in it.

            “louis, to know our history is very important, it makes you more analytical and critic about today’s political scenery. now let’s get back to that.” harry explained and quickly took over louis’ attention.

            after a while, louis sighed heavily and threw his hands in the air.

            “i can’t take it anymore, haz.” he said, pouty and tired, he made a face that had made the butterflies in harry’s stomach agitate themselves, flying around. “please, let’s take a quick break, hell i’m even getting depressed about  this whole great depression thing.”

            harry laughed and nodded, he quickly accepted louis’ offer to go upstairs and well, he could imagine the rest.

            when they got to harry’s room, louis pushed harry into the matress and got on top of him lacing his fingers on harry’s face. his tongue invaded harry’s mouth and harry was pliant, just there, he was overwhelmed by louis’ eroticness and dominance. he groped louis’ arse, earning a filthy moan from the smaller boy, he was getting too addicted to louis’ noises and was slowly learning what to do to get them.

            “harry, don’t tease if you can’t go all the way.” louis whispered into harry’s ear and attacked his earlobe, biting and kissing him. harry was leaving little love bites in his neck.

            “what if i want to go all the way tonight?” they stopped, harry looked at louis’ blue eyes and nodded reassuring him that he truly wanted it, louis smiled and made the first move to what would be harry’s first night and louis’ thirty second night.

            just like that, harry lost his virginity and louis made sure that he loved every second of it.

 

 

            now prom was coming up and harry had yet to think of a romantic yet funny way to ask louis to it. he was having a lover’s block if that’s a real thing.

            people had grown accustomed to the couple and started to think it was really just a nice and genuine pair. harry couldn’t have liked that more, the student body stopped thinking that louis was just an evil whore using harry for sex (which was amazing, in case you’re wondering) and tutoring (louis’ grades actually went up and he didn’t even have to blow someone this time, well, actually he blew harry but that’s not the point).

            he decided that nothing was coming out of his mind so he called his best mate, niall. niall was a nice lad, people liked him and often invited him to all the parties, he even threw some house parties when his older brother had to go on a business trip. but niall’s best feature was his charm, he could get into anyone’s pants and harry thought this was quite the gift. he even got into louis’ pants but it was before he and harry started dating.

            “’ello?” niall answered in the other side of the line.

            “niall, my best friend in the whole world, the most handsome irish that has ever layed  feet on earth, the best footie player in the whole school, the most…” harry was cut from his kissing ass speech with a rude “what j’ya want, mate?”

            “wow, straight to the point heh, ni?” harry played around with niall’s patience.

            “spit it, ‘arry.” niall’s heavy accent floated in the line.

            “okay, mate, no need to be aggressive.” harry smirked and niall could see his smirk from afar. “i just want a favor from you.”

            “okay…” niall was a little concerned, although he liked to party and sometimes was a bit reckless, he didn’t quite enjoyed doing it on a monday.

            “don’t worry, it’s not illegal, i hope.” harry said, his relationship with niall dated from kindergarten, they were best friends since they were babies, and their parents had a good relationship also. “i just… god, this is kinda embarrassing.”

            “look mate, i love ya, but i won’t take a look at anything down there, be it anything it is.” niall joked, their friendship was just one of those that they were so close that they could talk about all trivial things and don’t feel any kind of boredom for days.

            “haha very funny. but no, i don’t have herpes if that’s what you’re asking. i just wanted help with something. you see, prom is coming around pretty soon, and i still haven’t asked louis yet because i can’t find a nice way to do it.”

            “and you want the romance genius to help you?” niall joked and harry laughed.

            “yeah, i guess it is that, romance genius.” harry curled his toes and expected a great revolutionary idea from the other side of the line.

            “well, actually, you, my friend, are very lucky today, i just have the perfect idea for you, then.”

           

 

            it turns out that niall’s idea was kinda great and harry was sure louis would love it.

            zayn and louis were playing truant under the bleachers and smoking a cig when louis suddenly asked.

            “and have you asked her already?” louis said, referring to perrie, zayn’s on and off girlfriend he met  last year.

            “yeah mate, with flowers and chocolate and all this shit, she was so happy she let me fuck her in the ass.” zayn said without remorse, he and louis were great friends and met during a party the year before, they had had sex a couple of times but it all stopped when louis met harry, actually, everything kinda stopped when louis met harry, the blue eyed lad stopped going to a lot of parties and sleeping around, he even stopped doing molly and only smoked pot when he was missing it badly.

            louis laughed at that and took a long drag of the white cigarette in his hand before passing it over to zayn. “you should stop using her zayn, one day she’s gonna find out all about your little adventures.” louis warned but he knew zayn wouldn’t listen, he was like that, thought the world would never give him a bad time. “what about that guy you met at becky’s party? he was very fit if i remember it correctly.”

            “liam? yeah we did it.” zayn laughed and lit up another fag because the other one was already over. “it’s just, god, he was so afraid of the consequences and… yeah, i couldn’t take it anymore.”

            “well, at least, he knew it would have consequences.” louis said.

            “kindly fuck off, mate, you and i both know it’s nothing.” but louis knew it wasn’t nothing, zayn wouldn’t stop talking about liam’s dick for a week and when they stopped seeing each other naked, louis noticed zayn’s face, it had changed, it was darker and a lot sadder. “what about you and that guy from the swim team? that styles guy? it’s been three weeks mate.” zayn strayed into a subject he knew he didn’t have to talk about his personal life anymore.

            “yeah… i like him, like a lot.” louis smiled to himself, picturing harry and him having sex, last night, on louis’ bed, with his family having dinner downstairs.

            “that’s great mate, settling down for a bit, i see.” zayn pated him in the back. “are you going to prom with him?”

            louis sighed and shrugged off the cigarette zayn offered him. “that’s the problem, zee, he is just, god, why is he taking so long to ask me? i thought he liked me. he even said it himself.”

            “just wait mate, it’s gonna be fine, he definitely likes you, tommo.” zayn reassured him and they both turned their heads to their speakers when they heard the statics noise and prepared for an announcement.

            they were not expecting for a deep voice.

            “hey, well, most of you know me, i’m harry styles, and for a few weeks from now i have been going out with the most handsome guy in this school, he is just the nicest person ever and so fun and caring, and god, louis tomlinson, this is for you.” the speakers said to the whole school, and zayn just laughed at louis’ surprised look.

            the guitar accompanied harry’s singing, his voice got deeper and yet softer, loving every moment of it, louis couldn’t stop smiling dorkly to himself. harry swas singing the moldy peaches’ “anyone else but you” a song they both loved when they have watched juno together and proceeded to have sex in harry’s couch.

 _you're a part time lover and a full time friend_  
the monkey on your back is the latest trend  
i don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else  but you

 _i kiss you on the brain in the shadow of a train_  
i kiss you all starry eyed, my body's swinging from side to side  
i don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else  
but you

 _here is the church and here is the steeple_  
we sure are cute for two ugly people  
i don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else  
but you

 _du du du du du du dudu_  
du du du du du du dudu  
du du du du du du dudu du

 _you are always trying to keep it real_  
i'm in love with how you feel  
i don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else  
but you

 _we both have shiny happy fits of rage_  
i want more fans, you want more stage  
i don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else  
but you

 _don quijote was a steel driving man_  
my name is harry i'm your biggest fan  
i don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else  
but you

 _squinched up your face and did a dance_  
you shook a little turd out of the bottom of your pants  
i don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else  
but you

            “louis tomlinson, will you go to prom with me?”

harry finished off with a falsetto and louis knew he was a goner for the boy.

 

 

            harry got out of his mom car, she had lended it to him for the night, smiling cheekily and fixing his quiff. he had put on his best tuxedo for louis and his mom had styled his hair for about half an hour to look like that, and by the end of it, he was looking great with all the modesty in the world. 

            he ringed the bell of the tomlinson household and two girls by the age of six, twin sisters, answered it. they were smiling and jumped to hug harry. louis’ sibling loved harry and lottie and fizzy always commented how fit he was to louis, louis just smiled and agreed with them with a laugh.

            jay, louis’ mom, was coming from the living room and she too hugged harry. “oh harry i’m so happy you were the one to take my louis to prom, he is looking dashing since you two started going out together.” she smiled and pulled in to another bear hug.

            harry laughed and fixed his tuxedo, he continued to talk to jay about louis, when he heard a light high laugh from the top of the stairs, he immediately recognized it and turned his head to face louis. the boy was looking more than dazzling, he was just the sun, harry swore that native americans would take louis as a deity right now. his tux was made of blue velvet, like the night sky, but bluer than the velvet was his eyes, his fringe is feathery and styled to the side, and all harry  was able to say was “hey”.

            “hey to you too.” louig laughed and took harry’s hand.

            “lottie! go get my phone! i need a picture of this moment!” jay screamed and after a while she was photographing the couple with all of louis’ siblings.

            louis quickly grew tired of it. “mom, snap out of it.” and harry laughed at louis’ annoyed voice tone, harry put his hand in louis ribs, covering the smaller boy’s back with his lanky arms.

            “sorry sweetie!” she apologized and laughed with herself. “never thought i’d see you with a decent guy.”

            harry laughed even more, louis reprehended them both for lol’ing at his taste for boys. they left the house with louis pushing harry by the arm to the car and harry still laughing.

            harry kissed louis pout off his face and their kiss got heated.

            “haz.” louis moaned in harry’s mouth.

            “let’s go, we’ve got tonight.” harry said and opened the car door for louis.

            “who needs tomorrow?” louis said smiling and sitting himself in the front seat of harry’s mum’s car. harry smiled at how easily louis got the reference to the song. louis was actually listening to the songs harry’s been recommending him.

            that’s the sign harry was looking for. tonight he is going to tell louis he loves him.

 

 

            prom is kinda shitty, nothing ever happens much, but tonight, louis is with harry and they are harryandlouis in a public event for the first time. that makes everything better.

            they are dancing to whatever the dj throws at them, the slow dancing hasn’t started yet and they are currently grinding on each other’s bodies shamelessly.

            harry sees a familiar face in the crowd looking very depressed and eyes puffed. he turns to louis “lou, isn’t that one of you friends over there?” harry points at the olive skinned guy near the exit.

            “shit, yes it it, just hold on a minute okay, love?” louis lets go of harry and turns on his heels with a peck on harry’s lip, he jogs to zayn’s side.

            zayn is absolutely devasted, he looks tired and just how you imagine a coke addict without coke. badly. he feels a small hand in his shoulder blade and turns to look at it, he knows it’s louis but this is not a moment he wants to have a heart to heart, actually, if he could never have a heart to heat with anybody he would be very thankful.

            “fancy a fag, mate?” that’s all louis says. both of them exit the school ground and walk into the woods that circle the school.

            they smoke one, two, three, four, five cigarettes now and counting, louis wouldn’t say anything, zayn was glad his best friend knew him well enough to stay silent.

           

            they stay like this for a long time, not that one of them has been counting, it’s just one of those things you can feel without having any evidence of such. it takes zayn three more drags at the cigarette to start forming sentences.

            “i never thought it would actually be over, you know?” louis knew, he knew what zayn was going on about. perrie most definitely ended everything for good, not like the time when they broke up because perrie didn’t get street art or when zayn asked her to try a different hair cut, this time they were over, and everybody knew why.

            “i know, mate.” louis looked up at the stars, actually, at the nothing, the sky was having a serious lack of stars and that just made the moment sadder because he couldn’t make a star-related movie-like speech without stars in the sky. how was he going to make his best mate feel better now?

            “i told her.” zayn surprised louis with this one. “i figured that she needed to know. like when it doesn’t mean anything, i thought she wouldn’t care, and she didn’t . it’s just that. fuck, it’s just that i don’t know.”

            “it meant something.” louis helped zayn get through the lump in his throat.        

            “yeah. liam meant more then something to me. while we were together, he meant everything to me.” zayn blinked and a tear escaped his eyeballs and wet his high cheekbones, he quickly swiped it away, roughly with the back of his hands.

            “i know the feeling, bro.” louis comforted zayn, it was supposed to be one of those white lies you tell someone to make them feel better, but now, he was wondering how much of a lie was it anyway.

           

 

            harry grew tired of waiting by the time niall came out of the bathroom with two girls, fuck, how can his best mate have a threesome in the school’s bathroom and he cannot get one sloppy handjob? life is unfair sometimes.

           he got up from the white plastic chair he currently sat on and made his way to the exit, not wanting to disturb louis and zayn’s friendly smoke, only wanting to get his date to spend some time with him.  

           when he opened the door he met louis’ blue eyes looking into his own’s. “hi” he breathed hastily.

          “is this going to last all night? because people are leaving and i really hoped we could make more of this evening.”

          “oh yeah, sorry babe, it’s just that zayn’s going through a rough phase now, aren’t you zaynie?” louis teased the brown eyed boy that had just slipped into his usual mood.

          “fuck off, lou, you can get back to harry and prom now, i’m going home.” zayn said with a cigarette in his mouth.

          louis said his goodbye, expecting his friend to get better tonight and not to slash his wrists in a hot tub. he was taken away from his thoughts by a pair of hot full lips claiming his own pink and thin lips.     

          “let’s get outta here.” harry muttered in between their kiss.

          “but i don’t wanna go home, haz!” louis whined pulling harry away with his hands on his biceps.

         “who said anything about going home?” harry smirked and louis smiled from ear to ear, they were going on an adventure. yay.

 

         “are we there yet?” louis asked, tapping his fingers in the window and breathing heavily while the radio played a nirvana song, louis was currently losing his nirvana virginity to the song harry had lost his own, as harry said.

        “we are getting there, just sit back and enjoy the brilliant music, lou.” harry said not taking his eyes of the road but singing a little with the radio.

       “you have a nice voice.” louis said after the song ended.

       harry flushed and laughed a little. “thanks, anyways, did you like the song?” he turned to louis for the first time during their ride. he had a childlike expression that won louis over.

       “i thought i was going to need to lie about it, but it was kinda nice.” louis said full heartedly.

      “kinda nice? you are a strange one, tomlinson. how can you find the best band in the world just kinda nice?” harry said with fake hurt in his tone. 

       louis laughed and kissed harry’s cheek. harry turned his head so the kiss was planted on his lips.

      “eyes on the road, baby.” louis said smiling and pointing his head towards the road.

 

      the wait was over and they had got to the place harry found the other day while looking for a nice place to finally tell how he felt about louis.

      “it’s beautiful, haz.” louis looked amazed by the hollowness of the place. it was by the end of a cliff and it was just outside town. looking down, they saw nothing, the moonlight wasn’t able to light it up. it was nothing, like literally nothing, but it made them feel so free from everything. beautiful indeed.

      harry learned, with those weeks they’d been together, that freedom was all louis’ ever wanted, not that he grew up in a strict lair, he only wanted to have to think about what he wanted, to have a place to do that and time to spend doing that, it could be called selfish, but it was something so pure and simple yet so unattainable.

      they smiled to each other and shared a passionate kiss. harry quickly groping louis’ butt cheeks (they both loved when he did that) and louis grabbing harry’s hair, pulling him closer into the kiss, their tongues fighting for dominance, it was a horny kiss. harry moaned when louis started to kiss his way down harry’s neck.

     “lou…” harry was moaning heavily and louis loved that, it aroused him even more, to the point he could not stop even if the cops broke into there right now.

     this soon turned into hot sex on top of harry’s mum’s car.

 

     “the stars are so beautiful tonight.” louis pointed at the blue night sky, he was currently laying at the top of the car in only a pair of white boxers, harry, on the other hand, was standing by his side, on his pair of red briefs.

    “lou, the sky is starless tonight.” harry said matter-of-factly .

    “i know.” louis laughed and harr didn’t get what was funny about that. he shrugged it off. “quite poetic, isn’t it?”

    harry looked at him in the eyes, silently saying that he didn’t get it.

    “’s like the sky is as dark as the bottom of this cliff. upstairs, we see nothing, downstairs, we have more nothing, we’re currently the only thing in this place.”  louis breathed and his face lit up in a toothless soft smile. “it’s refreshing.”

            harry nodded, he didn’t get why louis wanted to be free so much, he imagined that being raised with all the siblings he had was quite overwhelming and him, being the oldest, didn’t have much time to himself.

            “we’re important here.”

            “we’re the only ones here.”

            “tomato tomato.” louis finishes.

 

            they were both curled up in the car’s backseat with a duvet harry brought from home, wearing only socks, underweat and a shirt, harry didn’t want to get fully dressed so he picked the deep purple duvet from the trunk and hugged louis with it.

            “lou.” harry fidgeted louis’ hair, he was growing fond of the boy’s free spirit as well as with the boy’s clingy and caring side.    

            “what, haz?” he hummed in response.

            “it’s just, i’ve been thinking, what are you going to do after that? after this?”

            “you mean, are we boyfriends now?” louis aked playing with harry’s nipples and smiling in the crook of the dark haired boy’s neck.

            “do you want to be?” harry laughed when louis found a ticklish spot in his body.

            “i want to be your boyfriend, harry.” louis was now fully sitting on harry’s lap and grinding down his cock.

            “good, because i want to be yours, too.” harry smiled and placed his hands on his boyfriend’s waist.

            then louis rode harry and the rest is all details.

 

             now they were laying down in the front seats, each one on their own. louis’ feet were dancing in the panel of the car.

             “okay… so what do you wanna do after high school? like, it’s all ending next year, don’t you think that’s a little overwhelming?” harry asked, they were in the middle of an extremely philosophical q&a session.

             “well, not that much.” louis shrugged off, paying more attention to his toes than to harry’s question.

             “not even a little bit? god, it’s all so stressing! going to college and choosing the right courses and don’t even get me started about applications.” harry was sighing and he swayed his long arms in the car dramatically, emphasizing the stress they were supposed to be under right now.

             “calm down harry, we still have senior year to make it through.” louis laughed at his boyfriend.

             “but is only a year! and then the future! gosh louis, i don’t think you understand, we are going to be responsible for making a choice that’s going to define our whole future.” harry said trying not to make this argument too heated. louis was stubborn, but not in the ‘i won’t change my mind way’ but in the ‘i don’t think this is important enough for me to bring myself to care’ way, and that got on harry’s nerves, he studied his ass off and worked part time in the local bakery to earn some extra cash, on top of that, he dedicated himself to the swim team because it could get a scholarship for him, because, let’s face the reality, he is great at it.

            “but don’t all choices define our future?” louis said smiling to himself at harry’s expression. harry could answer it by saying that deciding which college to go to is a more important decision than deciding which way to take to go to the highroad. but he remained silent and let louis explain himself, elaborate his thoughts further. harry really liked the sweet endearing tone louis’ voice had. “i don’t think i’m going to college, to answer your question.”

            now harry couldn’t stay silent, he had to put some senses in his boyfriend’s (god he loved that) head. “but louis what about your future?”

            “it’s still my future, the one that i want, it’s just, collegeless.”

            “that’s not a word.”

            “had i wanted to go to college, i would have liked to learn that.” louis smirked and harry just shrugged it off. “and what are you going to do after high school?” louis smiled.

 

            “it’s all about the freedom harry!” louis screamed at the top of his lungs into the cliff.

            “louis stop that! you’re to close to the border!” harry hugged the boy from behind and pulled him close, louis just laughed and let himself be carried by harry.

            they stood like this, hugging each other’s torso, without muttering a word, without moving a millimeter, untill some song harry recognized came on the radio and he started humming to the beat.

            “what’s that?” louis’ eyes perched up and met harry smiling to him. it was a nice song. a rap one, and louis quite enjoyed rap music.

            “biggie smalls, ‘suicidal thoughts’” harry stated and proceeded to rap, louis hated his rap, he hated white people trying to rap, but laughed at it anyway. “do you like it?”

            “yeah, ‘s nice.” and it was nice and they moved their feet around the ground together, kind of dancing, but weirder than that. they were weirdly dancing to a rap song about going to hell.

            “louis.” harry called. “are you going to leave?”

            “we’ll have to leave some time, haz.” louis stared, he knew what harry meant but he  just didn’t  want to have to say that he was planning on it, planning on leaving this town, this people, his family. it’s not like he hated it, it had only lost the spark for him.

            “you know what i mean, stop trying to answer me like a parent that doesn’t want to have the talk with the kids.” harry whispered in louis’ ears and rested his chin in the boy’s caramel hair. “are you going to leave town? to leave your family and zayn and...” harry didn’t have to continue, because, honestly, anybody could pick up the ‘me’ left to finish the sentence.

            “i’ll just tell you what you already know now, haz…” lou said, he wouldn’t lie to harry now.

            “i love you, lou.” harry let that sink in for a bit, the words were strong and heavy, they carried around and made the air in harry’s lung denser and he found it hard to breathe for a moment.    

            “i think i love you too, harry styles.”

            “so, why leave me?” harry asked in hurt, he shouldn’t have accepted the ‘think’ he wanted a full ‘i love you’ and louis had just said a lot of words he didn’t want to hear in that sentence.

            “it’s not about you, harry, it’s about me. it’s not like i am not going to be hurt when i leave everybody, but i need it, like when you apply pressure to a bruise, you need to do it, but it’s gonna cause you pain.”

            “i love you.” harry finished off.

 

            “come, i want to give you a full prom experience here.”

            “like, having a baby in the bathroom and stuff like that?” louis asked, not sure of what harry meant.

            harry laughed at that, he liked louis’ jokes. “no, i mean this.” he pressed a button on the radio and a slow song came on. he extended his hands and louis picked up both harry’s idea and hand.

            they were slow dancing and it felt magical. harry didn’t want louis to leave, he didn’t want to let go of his boyfriend, not right now. “i’m sorry prom’s been shit, i shouldn’t have left you waiting.” louis apologizes

            “’s alright, you were just being a good friend. besides, i like this better.” harry said with louis’ hand on his neck.

            “yeah, me too.”

 

            in the morning, they left. harry guided them home while holding louis’ hand over the gear stick.

            they got to louis’ house in only one hour and got out of the car, they were fully dressed but still didn’t look good, bags under their eyes and hair all messy, their ties in hand and none of them was wearing shoes.

            louis was still rolled in the duvet and harry kissed him in the front of his door. “i had fun, thank you for the night, haz.” louis says in harry’s cheek.

            “i had fun too.” harry smiles into the kiss.

 

            it’s been a year since that, their relationship is growing and improving day by day. louis’ favorite day in his relationship with harry was the day harry asked him to ‘be his valentine’ with showers of gifts in front of the school gate. harry’s favorite day was when louis and him had sex in the library.

            it was nice, they didn’t fight, they never did, actually, maybe they didn’t want to spend their precious and finite moments with that.

            graduation day was supposed to be another nice day in his nice relationship, but to harry, it meant the end was getting closer. he was accepted in a good school not so far from there, with a full scholarship because of his good grades and excellent swimming performance.

            harry and louis had been chosen as ‘the favorite couple’ in the yearbook.

            louis was receiving his diploma, and he looked dazzling and truly happy, the paper rolled up  in his hands was being held high up his head. with a full teethy smile turned to his family.

            harry was next and he felt very overwhelmed by the clapping and the whistles, his family was a little enthusiastic and he had become quite popular with the other students. his mom and sister actually had met louis last spring break when he officially introduced him as his boyfriend in a trip they four did to a cabin in the woods. they loved louis and how happy they made each other.

            he grabbed his diploma with his left hand and waved to his sister with his right one.

            then liam, zayn’s boyfriend for two months now and class president, gave a speech. “well, fellas, we made it, it’s been crazy, like we’re into the wilds crazy.” everyone laughed. “it’s impossible to think that i won’t see everybody’s faces tomorrow and won’t complain about how much push-ups i had to do in gym class. this is just a thank you, to everyone who got into the wilds with me for all these years. thank you, to all of you, i’ll miss you loads.”

            harry was going to miss everyone loads to.

 

            prom was not that good that year, in fact, they hadn’t went to an adventure.

 

            their first couple fight started over money, and thinking back, it’s a lot silly. harry didn’t want to go to a concert louis has talked about for months, it was important to louis, harry should just have agreed to it.

            “well i’m sorry i don’t have that much money to spend louis, i work hard in the bakery to spend some of my income with presents and dates and stuff like that but you don’t seem to appreciate it.” harry spoke a little louder than louis would have liked him to.

            “excuse me?” louis asked in a pitchy voice. “i do appreciate it, and i know you like to save money for the future but i’m not asking you to go crazy and buy a rolex for god’s sake.”

            “well if we hadn’t went to that fancy place this month i could afford my ticket, but we went there, and i can’t afford it this month.”

            “it was not that expensive and you know it, you’re just saving for college and we both know that.” louis yelled and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

            “maybe in your _previous_ relationships you got everything you wanted, but i’m not like this, louis!”

            “what do you mean harry? previous relationships?” louis said, calmly, and harry knew it was going to be worse.

            “it’s just, fuck’s sake, louis, you’ve been with lots of other people that gave you everything you needed and…” harry dozes off. “it was a lot of people.”

            louis fakes a laugh, sarcastically. “harry, it’s the past. what’s done is done. i’m sorry if you feel that insecure about my previous relationships. but i never gave you a reason to feel that way. i can’t be sorry about all the people i dated harry.”

            “what? would you date them again, louis?” harry asked, he knew he was being unreasonable but his boyfriend was running away from everything in a few months, he had that right, for fuck sake.

            “that’s not what i meant, harry!” louis yells. “i said that i wouldn’t change my past, i don’t regret it, not for a moment, the past shaped me, me, the one you say you love.”

            they screamed and yelled for a while, untill louis decided to call it a night and go home. once harry’s mum told him to never let someone go to bed mad at him. so he ringed louis’ doorbell for a while and when louis himself answered with a muttered “what do ya want now, haz?” he launched himself in louis’ lips and took him upstairs, muttering ‘im’ sorry’s to the smaller boy and promising to go to the concert with him.

 

           

            a week after the concert, harry knows their goodbye was going to take part soon. he just wants to avoid it for as much as he can.

            their relationship is not the same.

            they don’t kiss the same way they did, they feel distant from each other, they don’t even spend that much time together anymore and it’s a way for harry to protect himself and minimize the danger he was going to be through after the break up.

            one day, they’re at the park, the same one they’ve been when they started dating a year ago. they’re sitting in the bench and just watching time pass by, without saying a thing, holding hands and laughing at something the other one occasionally points.

            “it’s wasting away, haz.” louis breaks the silence and harry was kinda glad for it, he can’t love in silence.

            “what is wasting away, louis?”

            “you are, this whole thing is, _us_.” louis knows well. “it’s withering, harry, i don’t want it all to fall apart.”

            “you said it was going to fall apart eventually, remember?” harry said, still not looking at louis.

            louis laughed at the irony of that. “yeah, i remember it. i didn’t think it would fall apart so easily though, i expected a whole lot of crying and movie moments.”

            harry laughed at louis’ joke. “it’s easier this way, lou, it’s like eating a grenade so it doesn’t explode and hurt everyone.”

            “but the person who eats it still explodes from the inside.” louis might have not gotten straight a’s in his report but he was smart.

 

            they were scrambling through harry’s folder of photos, eventually one of them both together kissing, smiling, holding hands, just happy, would come out and louis would have a quick look at it and go to the next one, making an effort not to overstay his welcome in the photo.

            “i’m gonna miss you, you know?” louis said, breathing and looking at harry’s eyes. “don’t think for a second that i won’t miss you, i’ll miss every one, hell i think i got depressed when i said my goodbyes to zayn but i know he will be happy, with liam, with his future, with everything, and i want you to be happy too.”

            “too late for that, lou, it’s going to take a lot of ice cream and sappy movies for me to get over you.” harry joked and laughed at his own joke, even though it was not that funny. “you are, by far, the greatest star i’ve ever dreamed of seeing, louis, you made me impossibly happy with you, i felt free like i could fly away with you in my arms every moment. and i started to understand you more after that, you wanted to feel like this, but you and i, we are not alike, you can’t be attached to someone to feel in cloud nine, i respect your decision, louis. i’m sorry i can make you fly away.”

            “haz… don’t make it look like it’s your fault.” harry smiled and caressed harry’s cheek with his thumb, kissing his lips lightly yet strongly. “i’m gonna miss your stares, especially when i flip my hair and you zone off looking at me.” louis laughs at that and harry smiles, because he may try to fall out of love with louis but he will always love that laugh. “and when you say i’m beautiful and make me feel like cleopatra.”

            “she was a woman, lou.” harry laughed and louis shrugged.

            “whatever, but you were a king too, haz, so i would say ‘back at’cha’” and louis did actually said that every time harry complimented him. “i’ll miss the first time you introduced me nirvana and biggie smalls, i liked them you know? heh i know that they say that all i want is to have fun and i’ve come undone, but i’m just in love, and i wanna run and dance till dawn and stay forever young.”

            harry laughed. “i know that, lou, i know all of that.”

 “even though i knew it wasn’t going to last forever, i let you dominate my thoughts and made us something serious. even though none of the relationships i have had were serious, even when no one’s were. i knew you loved me by the way, when i saw you smiling at me in second period of a tuesday.”

            “i’m glad you did that.” harry says and louis is crying, he didn’t cry when he wrote his family a note and when he packed little and went to harry’s house to spend the night and say his goodbye. he didn’t cry when he had to say goodbye to his best friend ever. but he cried for every moment he had to have done it now.

 

            they had sex, lots of times, during that night. when they both were really tired and sleepy, they looked at each other’s eyes, bodies facing each other. none of them wanted to give in to sleep, none of them wanted to spend time with eyes closed and not touching the other one.

            “you will never see my face, if you don’t get out of this place.” it sounded like a threat, it wasn’t an empty one and harry knew that, but he shrugged it off and took it for granted anyway.

            “are you crazy, lou?” he joked and smiled, louis smiled too.

            “baby, i’m not crazy.”

            “let’s just hold each other and stay like this okay?” louis nodded. “if you’re going to feel lonely in the future, hold me now, kiss me now, make me you’re only one now. if you are going to sit on the couch somewhere and remember us and this place watching some shitty telly, hold me now, louis. we are safe in the dark here, but when it’s light, we part, and i’ll be happy for you.”

            “i’ll hold you, then.”

            “i’mma miss you too. miss making you run around the park and chasing after you, and pulling your hair during sex and snogging, and push you down a bed or couch or anything, and making you blush and laugh whenever you say ‘shut up, boy, you bananas”

            so they drift to sleep.

 

 

            they wake up at the same time, around nine a.m., the tomlinsons didn’t  run after louis, didn’t chase him, they knew louis was doing it wether they liked it or not, and they loved and respected and cherished him infinitely, so they let him go.

            louis raises his head from harry’s chest, his hair is feathery and harry thinks he looks gorgeous.

            “i’m leaving, are you coming with me?” it’s the last thing harry hears louis say. harry shakes his head and louis nods, gets up, gets dressed, gets his stuff and goes. he is out of this teenage wasteland and he welcomes the new adult wasteland.

**Author's Note:**

> tnx so much for reading!! love you lots!!


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